I got engaged over this past weekend. My boyfriend proposed to me on Mother’s Day (no, I’m not pregnant) and I actually said yes. It’s taken me a few days to process all of this, even though part of me knew it was coming. The proposal was sweet, it was a beautiful day, we were on an unplanned trip in the hill country, he was nervous, I was shocked…you know…all the stuff that will make for good memories.
I have always been really scared of marriage, long-term relationships, etc. I have always been a commitment-phobe, I’ve always been the one to end things before it got too serious or difficult, I’m the girl whose friends called “pongo” (put out n’ get out) for years. I’ve been in countless friends’ weddings and managed to dodge the bouquet every time.
So, it’s weird being me right now. I look down at my hand and stare for a few minutes and when I snap out of it I couldn’t tell you one single thing I just thought.
I am happy and I think that I am making the right choice, and I am equally mortified and full of what-if type thoughts. Someone please tell me this is normal? Tell me that I’m not a horrible person to be so freaked out right now.